2002-09-21T15:41:00.000-07:00

Yes! I have a whole hour just to myself right now! Jason took all the kids (including my sister's 2 that I have had since 9 AM) to the park and everyone else is gone. When your a mother peace and quiet time is such a WONDERFUL thing! :)

2002-09-20T21:32:00.000-07:00

Pesonally, I think it was another crappy day in my mother's home. Everyone had their panties in a bunch due to my sister not paying her car loan in 2 months that my Aunt had co-signed for. I gave more than half of my paycheck to Mike so now I'm almost broke on payday. I managed to get a savings account open and put $50 in it and Jason added $100 to his. After being broke last week with my money in his bank account and I had no access to it, I told him that I would be getting one of my own. Next week I will have my boss direct deposit $75 into my account so that I can't touch it until we move. The lady at work sold her house. Its too bad we couldn't get it from her land contract but it was alot of work that we really didn't have the money for. I looked at it with potential though thinking that one day it would be ours and one day be exactly the way I wanted it. Now Jason has hopes to buy a home from a guy at work on land contract. Only thing is there that they won't be moving out 'til November and that means staying here even longer. :(

2002-09-19T19:43:00.000-07:00

I came home today after a very boring day at work to find my mother really upset with my 3-year old son, Jordan as usual. He looked like he had been crying for hours and she was trying to get him to take a nap. I have not had that boy takes naps for quite some time now. I sat beside him on the couch and he jumped into my lap so upset. Soon my mother was storming about the house, crying, and making muffled smart ass comments. I wanted to take him out of there but where am I suppossed to go? I was really tired and Jason was getting pissed because Mike, my step-dad was soon making comments on how bad my boy was and that he needed his ass beat a hell of alot more than what he gets. Jason had some things to do so he took Jordan and Kierra (our 1-year old daughter) with him, thank goodness. It has been so terrible for him since we have had to move back in with my mother. He doesn't have much to do here at all. They have no cable here in the house because my mother doesn't have a job and Mike has a pretty shitty one making not enough money to pay all the bills. He has barely any toys and the ones he loves to play with like his sword he got from the Ohio State Fair, he is not allowd to play with and we don't even know where it is due to being hid by my mother. Ever since we have moved in here to get our life straightened out my mother looks at him in disgust, like she hates him. I mean he is only a little boy! Yes, he likes Power Rangers and Teenage Mutant Ninga Turtles so he is quite hyper and likes to wrestle and play fight but don't all boys? I don't know what to do about it but to keep him away from her as much as I can. He is at Kay's house tonight, Jason's mother-in-law so she can watch him while I work tomarrow. She looks after him well, has plaenty of toys and takes the time to let him go out in the yard to play so I am very thankful for her. I only wish she could baby-sit for me everyday. :(

Mike comes up to me later and asks how much longer are we going to be here. I told him that I didn't know. We were only supposed to be here for 3 weeks and now it is going on 3 months and its driving me insane. Then he asks me for $125 dollars to pay the electric bill. Uh! Come on! There goes half my paycheck! Its not like we don't buy anything around this house. We furnish the toilet paper, shampoo and conditioner, laundry soap, and absolutely ALL the food. They have only gone to the grocery once since I have been here when we said we had absolutlry no money that week then we ate tuna noodle casserole, hot dogs and hamburgers all week. Come on I don't feed them like that! But what am I supposed to do? Tell him no? And then be here in a house with no gas or electric? Yeah, we have no gas in the house either! Mike has a hose rigged up downstairs tapped into the upstairs apartment's (which is empty) water heater so that we can all take baths and do the dishes. So I guess I will give him the money and use the rest of my paycheck to buy the groceries for this week. Jason might get a good paycheck this week in order for us to put some money in the bank to get us the hell out of here!

2002-09-18T19:27:00.000-07:00

Well I just wanted to get signed up and started but tonight I'm really tired and my boyfriend is expecting me to be in bed by his side.

Turning My Life Around!!!